Monday, March 30, 2009


So my agency calls me after reading my email. she said they could not get a appointment for Friday so they had to get it for today. She said the ultrasound went OK. They had to take some ultrasound pics and they will send them to Dr. Jenkins to review and on Thursday she has her next appointment and the doc will review the results with her. Amy agency will be at her appointment. The appointment is at 2pm Thursday. I told her that i don't mean to worry so much and she said she understands after my first failed match is normal to feel like that, but she said she has no concerns about the BM changing her mind she just wants to make sure they baby is OK. BM is only 24 years old and she has a 16 month old daughter. Her mother is being very supportive of the adoption and she lives with her.

No news on the Ultrasound yet

Maybe i am worrying to much about this new birth mom, but she was suppose to get a ultrasound done on March 27 Friday to make sure the baby was OK. On the first visit March 26 the doc said the baby was small and that she could not be induced, but that she would need another ultrasound to make sure this is the case, beacouse they did not have the proper equipment at his office. I called my agency on Friday and they said that she was going to call them and that my agency will call me if they had any news. Well i did not get a call on Friday or the weekend. Today i also don't get a call. So i decided to email my agency instead of calling i don't want to call them too much unless is a emergency, but this is so frustrating not knowing what is going on. I feel like we paid a chunk of money last week to be placed with her and now i don't hear anything. I am praying everything works out. This is taking a big toll on our life's.

Friday, March 27, 2009

We are matched again ! OMG

My agency had emailed me last week about a birth mom opportunity. She is Caucasian and she does not know who is the daddy. He can either be Hispanic, African American, Caucasian she is not sure. I had told my agency that the race does not matter to me all i care is that if the baby is healthy. So i got the call yesterday in the afternoon saying that we where chosen again OMG. Here we go again. This time i am not trying to get excited at all the last failed match was so hard for me and for my husband. She is already dilated and they where going to see if they induced the BM yesterday. It turns out that the baby is still too small and the doctors want to see if BM can wait it out at least three more weeks. My agency said that they dont think she is going to wait that long. I am a little concern about the baby's weight they said it could be because birth mom smokes and that is why the baby is small. They are going to go for a ultrasound today to find out if she can be induced for sure or if she will have to wait. OMG this adoption thing is so stressful, but i know that it will be all worth it someday. Anyway we had to pay a lot of money yesterday because BM does not have medicare, but the agency will be putting her on emergency medicare so that we wont have to spend so much money on medical bills. I am so anxious to know what happened today at the ultrasound Stephanie will be calling me today i hope. Please pary for us.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

BM changed her mind

Yesterday is the most devastating day i have had since we started our adoption journey. I received a call from the BM yesterday and we talked about how our weekend was and how she was feeling. She said she was feeling good and that was it. Then i received a call from Stephanie in the afternoon saying that BM was not sure what she wanted to do. That she felt pressured and that she just did not know what to do. I was just so devastated when i heard those words specially after i was already attached to the baby and BM i have been there for all the ultrasounds and i thought everything was just perfect. Well it was not and the BM could not tell me to my face that that how she was feeling. Stephanie was very comforting when she told me don't worry maybe this was not meant to be and that she knows we will be parents soon. I wish i would not have told my family and my husband family it just makes it harder. I cried a lot yesterday and i told my hubby the bad news when he came home from work he was also upset we could not believe it we just hugged and cried. I think part of the reason she changed her mind is because she left the center and went to live back at her parents house just because she was High Risk and the center could not have her stay there. Now the BM feels pressured and is all confused now. Atleast this happned now and not at the last minute i think it would HURT even more. I am so hurt by everything GOD please help us get through this rollercoster.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Doctors Appointmetn

Agency called me today and told me BM is at her mom's house resting and will be staying there. They gave me her daytime phone number to stay in touch with her. I called BM to see how she was feeling and she said she is resting and woke up at 11am today and that she feels better. She ask me if they told me when her next doctors appointment was and i said yes that if it was 03/19/2009 at 3:30pm and she said yes. This is with the new high risk doctor. I am happy that she wants me to be at her doctors appointment.

Birthmom is 2cm dilated OMG

So yesterday i went to BM ultrasound at 9am. I was waiting inside the doctors office while she arrived and she did. she came in with her teacher and i got to meet her too! I gave both of them a big hug. She brought me some pictures of her family this included her mom, dad, sisters and her. She looks a lot like her mom i told her and her younger sister. Her mom is Caucasian with blond hair and green eyes. She has a step dad who is from Puerto Rico. Is funny cuz i have a step dad and i was born in puerto rico. They called her name and we went in. The nurses already know who i am and i feel more comfortable now with BM and i know she feels better with me because she seems a little bit more open with me now not as shy anymore. Well the doctor wanted to check her baby first before she got the ultrasound and for this we could not be in the room. So when doctor finished BM told me that she was 2cm dilated i was like WHAT!! She is only 27 weeks & 4days! She said that on Saturday she went to the emergency room for some bleeding, but that the doctor sent her home and told her that it was normal because her cervix just dropped. Yesterday they also did a ultrasound on the baby and he weighs 2lb 6oz. and is about 15inches long. So looks like the baby is growing, but he had some fluid on his kidneys that they want to continue to monitor that. They told BM she has to be on Strict bed rest so that she wont continue to dilate. They want her to see a specialist ASAP!! they want her to call ASAP for a appt and if she cant get in there then she needs to come back to this office.

I received a call from my agency after i left the doctors office and told me that how i felt about the situation and that if i want to continue to work with BM ? cuz they said i look upset i said NO i was worried for her and the baby that is all and that i want to continue to work with her. The agency said that BM will be moving from the center where she is at back home, because the center will not have a high pregnant girl on board, but that she will still be taking advantage of the center she still needs to ready books and do everything from her home.

Monday, March 2, 2009


This past Saturday we took our Adoption 101 class at the agency and we learned a lot from it. We learned the different kinds of formula there is for newborns, Diapers, Bottles. What we need to take to the Hospital ect.. They had two Baby Dolls that where life size of newborns and William learned how to change a diaper aww that was so cute seeing him do it. Well he did a great Job i am so proud of him. I got to learn how to swaddle the baby with a baby blanket. They say some babies love to be swaddle. We also received several literature on babies. I really was interested in the kangaroo care. Is basically where you put the baby close to your bare chest and the baby has nothing on only his diaper. This is good for bonding and a lot other things. I would be interested in doing this.

So this weekend we told my husband's family about our match and that the baby boy is due in June. My sister in law and brother in laws where so excited. I cried while i told my story and my sister in law was so happy for us that she cried with me to. They are very supportive of us. I am so happy that they are. My mother in law is also Happy for us, but she has no clue what it is to adopt and i dont want to sit there and explain to her everything. She thinks that the BM can come at snatch the baby away ect.. she has no clue. The important thing is that me and William are the ones that know how everything works.

My sister in law says that she has off those month's and that she will come to my house and help me with the baby. To take care of him, decorate the room, go shopping everything. They all also like the name that we picked.